this tweet is the real reason why romney lost the election
imagine being a newborn baby. u could fuck with people so hard. like someone goes “oh, how old are you?” you go “55”. they get confused as fuck. “wtf? u dont look close to 55”. at this point u have the upper hand. you smirk, and say “55…minutes”. everyone gets a good laugh. imagine
me: mom can we have mcdonalds
mom: i’ll just make something when we get home
my friend is babysitting my hamster
i’m looking for a romantic way to say i hope you think about me when you masturbate sometimes
In the deepest, calmest hours of the night when you have naught but your own company, I hope my image fills you with bliss.
ed sheeran when did you get a tumblr